Night @ IHOPpiness 2/19/07

1.You just received your man-love for the night. - Mark
2.I won't be the only one chained to a wall by the end of the night. - Mark
3.All I heard was “somebody take your panties off'. - Mark
4.If I can't have one guy I'll take another. - Jeff
5.This could be you! - Jeff
6.What? Handcuffed to your crotch? - Mark
7.Dildo what?!? - Kim
8.Might sword is mightier than your pen. - Jeff
9.My head is too small. - Wafro
10.You start to feel good about yourself when you wear cat ears and a cat tail and you're not the strangest one. - Hobbit
11.If I can balance things on my fingers.... - Jeff
12.I want to feel everybody. - Michelle
13.If it gets me into the action, I'll get chained to a wall. - Wafro
14.There is cream flying everywhere... you got it in my hair! - Mark
15.If he keeps sticking that in my face I'm gonna take it! - Kim
16.I'll stick something in your face. - Mark
17.Some people do pot. I just wear it. - Jeff
18.My brother got so drunk he went through 24 personality changes. - Jennifer
19.I'm gonna do it until she pops that thing out! - Wafro
20.You creamed him between his legs dude. - Jeff
21.It was an unexpected creaming. - Mark
22.It's death by creaming. - Hobbit
23.If you pay attention you can tell when they're creaming. - Kim
24.Dammit, you idea whore! - Georgie
25.There's a cream stream on the floor! - Jeff
26.I'm sorry honey. My knife was in your ass. - Jeff
27.Why is everybody trying to cream on me? - Wafro
28.I'm not trained to train. I'm only trained to care. - Ryker
29.It smells so good. - Michelle about teabags.
30.The best part is what you catch. - Mark
31.I don't know how to do that. I just sleep. - Boobs
32.It sounds like a weed-eater. - Mark
33.I just caught “I'll swallow”. - Wafro
34.Just think “dead puppies”. - Boobs
35.I'm scared of waking up with my pants around my ankles, beside a jar of Vasoline. - Mark
36.Tea is torture. - Jeff
37.Jeff you really did go out to eat. - Wafro
38.In your mouth. - Kim
39.Right now, I'm just grabbing a big pole. - Jeff
40.I'm fingering your hole. - Kim
41.Stick your finger in and twist. - Georgie
42.I hate it when it bends in the middle. - Kim
43.At least you know he can lay on his back and swallow at the same time. - Kim
44.I see your lips moving but all I hear is “Blah, blah, blah, I'm a dirty whore!” - Wafro and Nikki
45.There are different sizes, different shapes. - Jeff
46.He's dripping into his mouth again. - Kim
47.Hot water and teabags for everyone! - Ryker
48.Here ya go. Smell that. - Nathan
49.MOOBS!!! - G'hay
50.I creamed myself! - Wafro
51.It vibrates every once in a while. - Guy @ other table.


IHOP Shiznit! 2/26/07

1.I would do it in the bathroom. - Michelle
2.I don't like this (flops arm loosely), I like this (makes strong fist). - Kim
3.He's stealing my cream! - Amber
4.Did you just say you suck frogs through a straw? - Micha
5.Leave my cream alone! - Amber
6.Cream in your mouth, not in your hand. - Jeff
7.Would you like to look into my crystal balls? - Jeff
8.I mewed you! - Michelle

The week of 3/5/07 we were at IHOP. But unfortunately the party boy that Puff received from Decoy, Mark and Hobbit precluded any writing in the book. If you want the video please contact Kim! (As a side note the action from this night caused patrons to actually leave IHOP!)

Update: I was unaware that for this day the quotes were written out of order. So here goes:

1.A public poking is always good. - Kim
2.Lobster wang! - Grom
3.Hey, hey, hey....I don't know your name! - Katie
4.Who needs names when you can feel the love? - Kim
5.I don't want my son's cream...I want his kisses! - Kim
6.He fondles balls like no one you'll ever meet. Seriously. - Dean
7.You might have to dive. (to Wafro) – Boobs
8.Bring forth the teabags! - Jeff
9.Bring forth thine man-meat! - Grom
10.Dude, stop smacking my chicken! - Richie
11.I don't know how to. - Puff
12.If you're going to go down, share the love! - Wafro
13.Does anyone have a tampon? - Wafro
14.How the hell did you set it inside your pants leg?! - Mark
15.I got everybody juice. - Mark
16.The fucker dented my melon! - Frank
17.Mine has wet stuff on it. - Michelle
18.We need to go further than sleeping together. - Wafro

IHOPpiness 3/12/07

1.Pancakes and a Jager-bomb!- Boobs
2.If you need to do it while I have it on, I probably can. - Jeff
3.We've all been tea-bagged at one point or another. - Boobs
4.If they don't know who they are, why should I care? - Kim
5.It's like sex for your tongue. -Tex
6.Don't just bite the tip, put it all in! - Puff
7.And I'm not getting ridden. Damn! - Kim
8.Smell one of his teabags! - Michelle
9.You've got your hands in your lap talking about you're never gonna let it go! - Mark
10.My poof has fallen and it can't get up. - Wafro
11.you have to hit it at the right angle. - Stevie
12.He gets the meat. Your man is gonna eat my sausage! - Kim
13.I like eating sausage with white stuff. - Jeff
14.You wet her teabag. - Kim
15.If it's not wet grab the K-Y. - Wafro
16.But Vaseline is too messy. - Puff
17.I've got teabags a-coming. -Ryker
18.The beard makes me tickle. - Ryker
19.I think you're eating the wrong honey! - Erin


IHOPpiness 3/19/07

1.I am Frodo Tea-baggins! - Stevie
2.So he sees a goat float by... - Micheal
3.Oh they covered my ass alright! - Tex
4.My teabags have been everywhere tonight! - Mark
5.Do you see what I have to do to get teabags around here? - Mark


IHOPiness 3/28/07

1.I'll send you a picture of my ass! - Erin
2.You can sniff my teabags at home! - Boobs
3.Let the creaming commence! - Michelle
4.You have cream on your chest. - Tex
5.Your cup took a dump. - Grom
6.Think about Star Wars... No, this is tied to a porn conversation. - Grom
7.When your hair gets longer you can finger-fuck yourself! - Richie
8.Where's the rubbers? - Jeff
9.I have a target on my ass. Start shooting! - Ashley


IHOP, yet again! 4/2/07


1.That's just butter off my fingers. - Ryker
2.It's huge! - April
3.Just go in! - April
4.my dick turned all these different colors. - Charlie
5.Oooh, the cream! - April


IHOP, dear gods! 4/9/07

1.It hit the wrong side of my mouth! - April
2.I will cream you! - April
3.We can stick it there. - Tex
4.Even if it doesn't fit in your hand there are other places it will. - Boobs
5.Oh God it's not coming! - Puff
6.It needs to come faster! - Puff
7.I like being furry! - Hobbit
8.I just did cream shots! - Puff
9.Get your tongue away from my eyes! - Joy (or Jay not sure on the handwriting)
10.I've got extras! - Jeff
11.They're spooning in IHOP. - Tex
12.You have to take your shoes off for it to be an orgy! - Hobbit
13.I'm gonna finger my hole! - Erin
14.I'm getting frustrated. - Michelle


More of this crap from IHOP! 4/16/07

1.She has a crystal phallus between her breasts. - Tex
2.Gods, I wish I was a crystal right now. - Tex
3.BOOB WARS!!! - Puff
4.Nipples are dangerous. - Michelle
5.My nipples can cut glass. - April
6.My rocks will always be bigger than anyone else's. - Jeff
7. I'll play with my strawberry! - April
8.It's chewy. - April
9.....Only until you get to the barbell. - Grom
10.This meat just squirted in my mouth. - Jeff

This is only for the ladies.

Men if you read this please beware that we may use this information on you.

I have recently acquired a book called "The Action Heroine's Handbook". This book comes chock full of chapters like:

- Tough Chick Skills

- Beauty Skills

- Brain Skills

- Brawn Skills

- Escape Skills

Also the Appedicies that are included are Handbag Essentials and Action Heroine Hairstyles.

Ladies this may seem like a farce, and to some degree it is. The things it can teach you are things like how win a high speed chase in high heels and a bustier, how to fend off the undead, how to survive as a mob wife, etc.

Now these will make you laugh but there are important skills in here like how to win a catfight, choke a man with your bare thighs, how to fight handcuffed, how to fend off a sexually harrassing trucker, the list goes on and on.

We as women are seen as a weak gender and easy to take advantage of on a regular basis. This book actually has many good tips that can be used if you ever find yourself in the role of the atackee/victim. This a book that is similar to the Worst Case Scenario books and can give some interesting tips and tricks to help you overcome some interesting situations.

So girls take heart, there is someone out there that has the info you need to keep yourself safe. And if you ever come face to face with Bigfoot remember to act like another animal and if that doesn't work them throw a stick to distract it.

Remember to also have the following in your handbag at all times: nail file, lipstick, perfume, compact,and I will let you come up with the uses for each (just don't ask me to tell you the uses of a diaphragm or condoms).

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Paulina Rubio- Fire (Sexy Dance)

I got a hold of the book of quotes! FEAR ME!

This is the beginning of a list of things heard from a Drum Circle group and other places. Most take place at IHOP off Military Highway on Mondays after Drum Circle but some have happened elsewhere. I will alert you when that is the case.

1/22/07 Caffienated Night at IHOP

1.No thanks, my penguins already neutered. - Grom
2.I'll share my meat with you, sharing is caring! - Grand Ho
3.There is no true path, but get on the escalator and it will take you somewhere. - Mark
4.Talk to Big Al, he likes the long hair. - Grom
5.I'm a social smoker. When someone says 'I'll smoke. I say So shall I.' - Grom
6.Can't find the hole? Use your finger. - Julio
7.All I heard was D&D and dude that's your mom! - Hobbit
8.I had rug-burn so bad it was bleeding! - Grand Ho
9.I wonder if I can make caramel out of sugar with this? - Mark
10.You miss Hobbit that much? - Julio
11.Get the batter ready. - Grom
12.They lost the recipe for hot water. - Grom
13.I was going to ask for more teabags. - Puff (This is now a standing joke.)
14.Once a cock-sucker, always a cock-sucker. - Julio
15.Who made the cock-sucker comment? - Puff
16.Don't cut your lips, just because we are watching. - Rennie/Boobs MacIntyre
17.This is almost like Pee Wee's Playhouse and the secret word. - Mark
18.Lather it just right dude. - Jeff/Blinky
19.And a brass pole. - Grand Ho
20.I had a rash of chickens with no nuggets! - Grom
21.It's all about the nugget. - Wafro
22.Shit just started spewing! - Puff
23.I would chain Harry Potter to a wall! - Boobs
24.Beltrain, no that's what you do to people you hate! - Julio
25.Out of 24 entries, how many exits? - Grom
26.You're scaring me! - Mark
27.The bitch is standing there in a man thong! - Mark
28.My dad owns one (a man thong). - Hobbit
29.I then took the boot off and made sure the cleanup was complete. - Grom
30.Coocoo's are the mafia of the forest. - Julio
31.You have a guys number in your black book? - Mark
32.Do you want a teabag with that? - Puff
33.Why did I have to shave this week? - Mark
34.It's not rape if you yell “Surprise!” afterwards. - Julio
35.No! Bad Julio! - Grom
36.It shall be death by Bunga Bunga! - Julio
37.You'd equate it with a bad gay porn. - Julio
38.I once got stabbed by a girl because there was no cream cheese in her house. - Julio
39.I knew there was something wrong when she had a bagel toaster. - Julio
40.What's up with the whole tweaking the nipples and Oreos? - Mark
41.If I had suspenders this would be cuter. - Julio
42.I roll nat 20's on cute checks. - Julio
43.Oddly enough, I have no ass hair. - Wafro
44.Mental floss. Similar to anal floss, but different. - Wafro
45.I never knew you could kill someone with a money shot. - Julio
46.Dude you're fingering her hair! - Wafro
47.Now, if I can get her to lean forward so I can get my hands out of her pants. - Grom
48.It's a catch and release program. - Boobs
49.Why do I get the hairy one? - Grand Ho
50.Wow! I just bit a smiley face into my hand. - Wafro
51.Present thine nipples! - Grom
52.If it's linoleum then you are the one with the hard-wood. - Julio
53.Suck my body warmth. -Tiffany
54.Fuck that low tech porn! - Wafro
55.I want my hot man bed. - Grand Ho
56.Do you come often? - Boobs

The things said below were said at Boobs MacIntyre's work. She is an apartment manager at a property in Richmond VA. She was alerted to an illegal person on her property who was wanted for murder. The SWAT team told her that they would be coming to get this person that night. So what do you do? Stay at work and get drunk while watching the fireworks and write shit down like this...1/23/07

1.Jinho's not picky... - Grand Ho
2.It felt like throwing a marble down a mineshaft? - Boobs
3.It just needs a nut put back in and it'll be fine. - Jinho
4.I've been with some loose girls before... - Jinho
5.It was everywhere... - Jinho
6.I just prefer other positions. - Jinho
7.When I take a girls' virginity... - Jinho
8.You take care of you shit! It don't matter how many miles you got on it! - Jinho
9.This is too small! I need bigger. - Jinho
10.No, I'm not feeling you...yet. - Grand Ho
11.I'm not coming this time. - Jinho
12.I have man-curves. - Jinho
13.She slept with me...and I wasn't there! - Jinho
14.Karma! That's what fucked me! - Boobs
15.What you don't know is that these grapes are laced. - Jinho

This was a night at one of Grom's friends house. The game being played was Mario Cart Double Dash. 1/28/07

1.Hold on and let me get my goddamn beer! - Derek
2.I'm so happy I feel like my testicles could descend! - Will
3.I exploded a baby! - Will
4.I flipped off a box of kittens. - Will
5.That makes my tiny, baby soul hurt. - Grom
6.Take that Questionable-Gender-Dinosaur! Both of them! - Will
7.Do you ever get the random feeling that your testicles are on fire? - Grom
8.You can bite the most unseen part of my taint! - Will
9.You cock-monger! - Derek
10.Testicle shitting-rectal wart! - Grom
11.What the double fuck-nut? - Derek
12.We will cut your dick off if you don't stop! - Derek


Caffienated Night at IHOP- Take Two 1/29/07

1.I'm gonna sniff your teabags. - Michelle
2.Mine's brass. - Blinky
3.I'd like him on a bed of rice with brown gravy. - Marytah
4.I love all god's creatures, but some better just stuffed. - Marytah
5.They neglected to send some teabags down to her. - Ryker (the best waiter at IHOP!)
6.He and his test-tubes can go to hell! - Marytah
7.Mark, are you trying to steal my man? - Boobs
8.Smack me around and call me Susan, bitch! - Mark
9.But the dogs like it. - Ashley
10.If I could lick my own nuts I'd never leave the house! - Mark
11.Working at a hotel gives you some weird sexual experiences. - Marytah
12.Leave the teabags alone and just smell the bag. - Marytah
13.He likes the taste of refried beans. - Grom
14.There is cream everywhere. - Ryker (Told ya he was cool!)
15.You're the P.B.- Grom
16.P.B? - Ryker
17.Pancake Bitch. - Grom
18.He's creaming everyone. - Blinky
19.It feels like a bag of smashed assholes. - Marytah
20.I got gravy everywhere. - Mark
21.No, you got my gravy everywhere. - Puff
22.Not for the right hole! - Ashley
23.Is the buzzing thing waterproof? - Puff
24.I'm buzzing and I can't do it! - Marytah
25.Why can't you come tonight? - Boobs
26.Don't you want to keep him in a mayonnaise jar as a pet? - Marytah
27.That could take hours. - Grand Ho
28.I've had alligator sausage and it was good. - Mark
29.Jesus is a bastard! - Ashley
30.You are now on my to do list! - Wafro
31.Penis this, this and this! - Kendra
32.No bodies put it back in you yet? - Michelle
33.She text-ed me about a fork in the ass! - Boobs and Wafro
34.I'll do everything to you that your little French boy wouldn't. - Wafro
35.A boob in the hand is worth two and a bush. - Puff
36.Josh, with the man hugs, come hither! - Boobs
37.Spankin the Dutch...What?! - Wafro
38.I'm on break...No I'm not. - Ryker
39.Pretty blond boy will you please come cream me. - Marytah
40.I felt something that should have sounded like a Pop. - Julio
41.It's your penis, you pay for it. - Marytah
42.He's too sexy for his smock... (Repeat).- Blinky

These occurred at a local bar that Boobs frequents called Livewires in Hopewell, VA. 2/1/07 into 2/2/07.

1.Here's to the tree, here's to the trunk, here's to the night we all got drunk! - Big Ford
2.You stick that in his ass he ain't running no where! - Albert
3.Fuck that big-dick mother fucker! - Albert
4.My penis is so small, I gotta date a girl who can do the splits just to hit the clit! - Big Ford
5.I should spit on you, Bitch...! - Boobs
6.I'll pay you $380 to dance on the bar! - Albert
7.What's your name? sucks air through teeth Uhn, un. - Georgie
8.I'm all jacked off. - Big Ford

Yet another night at IHOP! 2/5/07

1.Can ya warn someone before you cream them? - Marytah
2.Stank me not! - Marytah
3.Can I fondle your rocks? - Marytah
4.I got squirted in the nose once by a mozzarella stick. - Michelle


Does the IHOP ever end? 2/12/07

1.Mmmmm...creamy. - Pip
2.DILDO RACING! I lost. - Hobbit
3.I love itty-bitty things! - Boobs
4.We're creaming everybody! - Mark
5.What the fuck are you doing under the table? - Mark
6.As long as you don't blow it in my face, I'm fine. - Puff
7.You can bend over just to suck on it! - April
8.Dean is the cream master. - unknown waitress (Ryker came by soon after to take care of us)
9.Just think about the reach-around. - April
10.Her hole is getting fingered. - Michelle
11.I hate it when you pull this hand and nothing comes out! - Julio
12.Now I really want it! - Michelle
13.If this place served alcohol, it would be a great bar! - Pip
14.Bring me thy titties d-coy! - Wafro
15.I've got two hands up my pants. - Grom
16.I ain't shitting out nobodies baby! - Mark
17.Get tea-bagged! - April
18.It's the latest craze! - Grom
19.I let him do it to me. - April
20.I'll call a rape on you. - Jessie
21.There was no pulling out. - Wafro
22.Look heifer! I'll point my shit at you. - Random person at another table who got a hold of our vibes and made this comment right before we walked out.

I was wondering if anyone else knows what it is to want to go back to college?
I am listening to a song from Avenue Q called "I Wish I Could Back to College". It is so true.

"I wish I could go back to college,
life was so simple back then.

What would I give to back and live,
in a dorm with a meal plan again.

I wish I could go back to college,
In college you know who you are.
You walk though the quad and think Oh my God I am totally gonna go far!

How do I go back to college,
I don't know who I am anymore!

I wanna go back to my room
and find a message in dry erase pen on the door,
Oooooo!

Wish I could just drop a class,
Or get into a place,
or change my major,
or f**k my TA!

I need an academic advisor
to point the way!

We could be...
Sitting in the computer lab,
4 am before the final paper is due!
Cursing the world cause I didn't start sooner,
and seeing the rest of the class there too!

I wish I could go back to college!
How do I go back to college!
Ooooooooo, oooooo!

I wish I had taken more pictures....

But if I were to go back to college,
think what a loser I'd be.
I'd walk through the quad,
and think Oh my God,
these kids are so much younger than meeeeee."

This just describes me to a T right now.

I squandered my chance to enjoy a simple life of just going to classes and making friends. I have a degree and it is doing me no good. I have a best friend from college who has the same problem. Why did I waste my chance for happiness? I made my choices and I didn't really think about the repercussions of my choices. I did what I wanted and didn't think anything about skipping classes and procrastinating about doing my work. I was such a loser! I miss those carefree days! Those days come only once in a life because once you are done with college then the real world comes crashing down. Jobs, families, bills, repaying student loans, children, all these things seem so far when you are just trying to make sure you get your paper done and pass classes.

I want those carefree days back......I don't care how much of a loser I would be.....

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: "I wish I could go back to college" Avenue Q

Today was the first day that I took my fiancee out to teach him how to drive a stick shift vehicle. We just tooled around the back roads and visited a few friends like Cupnjava. After about 2 hours of this I think I may have to take tomorrow off from work because of the whiplash. Thank you hunny!

Current Mood: nauseated